OS : I Deserve This?! Part 4
April 6, 2012
Re-Cap
Still half asleep and baffled, he whispered…”k…Khushi?”
She looked up at him, her eyes overflowing with emotion…
Lifting her hands, she held her ears and said brokenly…”Sorry…”
…
Arnav’s system was booted into high gear seeing Khushi on her knees…
And his heart shot with pain hearing her words…
“W…What?!”
Khushi flinched in fear and quickly spoke again…”Sorry….Sorry….Sorry….Sorry….”
Arnav fell to the floor beside her…
He was mindful of her bruised arms and held her gently as she continued to apologize…
Turning her to face him…he brought his hands up to her face…
Her eyes were closed…
Tears of acute sadness trickled down her cheeks…
“Khushi…Shhh…”
“Sorry…Sorry…”
“Khushi….please shhhhhh…”
Her voice became more and more choked by emotion…”Sorry…Sorry…Sorry…”
Arnav closed his eyes as he felt despair consume him…
He heard her constant apology…every ‘sorry’ would obliterate another piece of his heart…
Arnav carefully held her hands and brought them to away from her ears and to his chest…
“Khushi…stop…please…”
She lifted her eyes to his face…”w…will you…you please…please forgive me…”
He felt all the life drain from him…
“Khushi…” he shook his head in sorrow…
Her cries suddenly became louder…she gripped his shirt hard, hissing in pain as her hand throbbed with pain…”please…I didn’t know he was your Jijaji! I didn’t! I swear! You’re right! I do Deserve this! I’m sorry i didn’t tell you! I’m sor…”
Arnav swooped in and pressed his lips to hers…silencing her…
He heard her gasp and hold her breath as his mouth covered her mouth…
Arnav let his lips gently taste hers…
He brought his hands up to hers and gently pried apart her hard grip…
Pulling back, he lifted her hands to his mouth kissing them tenderly… “Forgive me Khushi…I need YOUR forgiveness…I knew about Shyam…but…He deceived me too…he lied about your intentions…and I…I believed him…”
Khushi’s gaze was soft and despondent…”you…you believed w…what?”
Arnav died a little with every word he spoke next…”He said you loved him…that you were both out to ruin Di’s life…and…and I…”
“I…I would never…” Khushi said as new tears filled her eyes…
“I know…I was so wrong…No Khushi…please…don’t cry…I won’t ever, EVER let him hurt you again…and I WON’T hurt you again…please believe me…Khushi I’m so so sorry…”
“it’s okay Arnavji…you were protecting Di…It’s okay…it was my fault for not telling you…please forgive me…”
Arnav felt like he’d been struck by lightening…as if his heart had been knocked unconscious…
“wha…what?” he managed to ask…
Khushi tried to pull her hands away from his but he wouldn’t allow it…”what are you saying Khushi?”
“I’m saying that whatever you did, you did for your family…It’s okay…I understand…I am the one who is sorry…”
Arnav’s heart pricked with annoyance…”Khushi…Stop it! You did nothing wrong…! Enough!!! ”
Without warning he lifted her off the floor and lay her delicately on the bed…
He saw the discomfort on her face every time her pained body try to move…
He sat down cautiously next to her…”Forgive me Khushi…I…I never wanted to hurt you like this…”
“I told you…I forgive you…will you forgive me?” Khushi said quietly…
Arnav moved back…his thoughts were troubling him immensely…”Khushi forgives me? Why!? This is what i wanted, but…why would she forgive me so easily? Does she think i will hurt her? No. It coudln’t be this easy…“
“Khushi? Why?! Why are you…”
She looked up at him…her mind pounding…”God help me…I can’t do it…No…I have to say it….”
With a deep breath and a rock-solid belief in her feelings, Khushi took the biggest chance of her life.
“Because I love you, Arnavji.”
Regret, remorse, pain, affliction, and almost a million other debilitating emotions flickered in his eyes. “You…I……I…”
She leaned in against him and cupped his face in her hands… “I understand…You did what you had to do. You had to be the hero that you are … I didn’t understand before, but I see now the lengths you went to to protect Di…I see the Angry Arnav Singh Raizada…and I see Arnavji… I love them both.”
She pulled his head down to her and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth. “This is why I forgive you…”
Khushi quickly backed away before she completely broke down…
She barely moved an inch when Arnav slid forward, held her face firmly in his hands and slammed his mouth down on hers.
Khushi nervously lifted her hands up to his chest as his mouth devoured hers.
Passion, heat, and overwhelming desire intermingled with all the love exploding inside Arnav for this woman.
Releasing her, he backed away slowly, his eyes blazing with fierce emotions she knew he fought with every breath.
“I…I don’t deserve your forgiveness Khushi…” He turned his face away feeling ashamed as memories of all that he’d said and done surged through his mind…
He shook his head…pain filling him to the core…She’d already suffered because of his stupid mistakes and selfish motives.
He’d be damned if he hurt her any more. “How can i continue anything with her, after hurting her so brutally…”
Khushi deserved all the happiness in the world and staying away from her had to be his contribution to that happiness…
He wanted to die for all the pain he’d given her…every hurtful word he’d ever said to her felt like a knife to his own heart…
“Arnavji…Love can look past the hurt…My heart saw what my eyes could not…”
Her voice, so thick with tears and emotion, was more painful than the cut in his side. She had been through hell and he was responsible for every bit of it.
Turning back to face her…His fingers touched the hideous bruises on her arms…
She trembled as his hands touched her sensitive skin…
He lifted his eyes to hers and heard her say…”I…I’m sorry Arnavji…”
His eyes clamped shut…”No…NO KHUSHI!”
Though his voice was piercing, his touch was delicate…
He felt her start to shake…heard her soft sobs…
His eyes shot open and saw her body slump, her eyes lightly shut with tears pouring over…her emotions took over her whole body…
Alarmed he moved closer and held her gently…”Khushi? Khushi look at me…”
Her dark, drenched eyes met his…”No? Why…why won’t…why won’t you forgive me?”
Realizing the misunderstanding…he shook his head….”no no, Khushi…I wasn’t saying No to that…I want you to stop saying sorry…i would forgive you immediately if you had done something wrong…but you didn’t…there’s nothing to forgive…”
Khushi’s body shook in her husbands arms…
Unable to bear her sorrow…Arnav lifted her with extreme tenderness…
Tears, and soft aching cries tore at his heart…
He stood up and walked to the poolside…”Khushi…you’ve asked me so many questions here…and never once have I replied honestly…”
He held her effortlessly…her one arm around his neck and her other hand, her injured hand, was on his chest…she felt his heart beat as he spoke…
“Why I almost kissed you, why i married you, why i gave you the bangles, why it mattered to me that you were engaged, why it mattered to me that you were leaving…the answer to all of those questions…” he paused…his voice went earnestly soft…”look at me Khushi…”
She lifed her gaze to his…he was intoxicated by her innocence and beauty…
“The answer…to ALL of your questions…is…Because I am madly, passionately, fully and completely in love with you…”
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~~ Secrets From Vashti Kovac ~~ 
YAY!!!!!!! They said they love each other!!!!!!!
OMFG THAT WAS AMAZING!!!!YOU ROCK, THAT WAS THE PERFECT WAY TO ACCEPT EACH OTHER
loved it pleeeeeeeees update soon luv u
It is REALLY AMAZING. The way they expressed their feelings, the pain they felt for each other and how they didn't want to harm each others emotions. I read it on 7th April and finished just 15 mintues before my mid-term exam..couldn't resist reading it. while peaple were revised for the exam, I was remembering Khushi's words "Love can look past the hurt…".Loved the way Arnav told her about his feelings towards her..I could imagine the scene.continue soooooon.
Amazing update. The way you portrayed the emotions. Just so sad that she thinks she deserves it and that she loves him. She is the victim and doesn’t deserve her at all.